What We Suppress Shapes Our Life (Full Moon in Libra)

There is a fundamental tension within human psychology; the drive to push and the drive to pull. To chase or to attract. To project or to recede. At a deeper level, this dynamic shapes both our identity and our sense of stability. This deeply palpable tension can be observed clearly in the current polarity we're witnessing with our most recent Full Moon in Libra this week.

One of the most polarizing aspects to any strong Libra is indecision. No matter the manifestation of ones personal aspects or planets, the energy of Libra blesses the individual with diplomacy and the virtue of harmony but when out of balance this energy leads to passivity, allowing indecision to cease action. This is where Libra’s opposite, Aries, psychologically takes the focus. Aries on the polarity can act without thinking, identifying only what they want to take immediate action towards in the moment without any doubt or indecision. People with heavy aspects within one of these polarities or the other will tend to dip deeper into impulsivity or indecision but the important piece to remember is that these aspects exist within everyone, it’s only a matter of accessing them through the right means or circumstance. 

For the reader, you might be able to pinpoint these aspects within the self quite quickly. If you identify more as a Libra you might identify more with indecision, passivity, or diplomacy, the ability to fight with your words and reason. If you identify more as an Aries you might identify more with impulsivity, spontaneous desire, or your raw, pure forward moving action, and your ability to come out on top. But for both polarities it may be more difficult to identify where they may actually take on their opposite’s traits, be it their shadow or in the relationship dynamics they attract. 

Libras may struggle to see the influence of their words and actions, yet see all too well the struggles assertion of one’s self serving will has harmed others or harmed themselves leading to a suppression of these energies. This is why the deeper shadow of Libra is its own repressed anger and when we reach this current full moon as a collective, the deeper emotions are unavoidable and boil to the surface. This can manifest as repressed agitation, internalized criticism, and a suppression of ones own will. Action and assertion can become villainized in the mind of an out of balance Libra. What the Libra has a tendency to do when their will is suppressed is internalize and rationalize the suppression, reinforcing the very pattern that keeps them stuck. “My will only hurts others” or “My will isn’t good enough” can become the core of the thought loop that prevents action. . Going one layer deeper this shows evidence of a pattern where the suppression of the will is a learned mechanism of survival. 

Conversely the Aries may feel like they’re the only one that can get anything done. During these intensified energies between this polarity, the Aries may find roadblocks or be wracked with passivity in their surrounding circumstances. Boundaries set by others that impede their immediate progress may be seen as obstacles or worse, personal attacks against their will. Both of these circumstances highlight their desire for control rather than co-operation. The same applies when we look towards the side of Aries it may not be aware of or want to acknowledge; where their own passivity and emotional withdrawal become a form of control that can hurt others just as much as domination of another’s will. The more internal Aries may dip so heavily into their opposite that these aspects of themselves are in fact being highlighted so they can rise to the surface. As we understand in polarity, when we dip too far out of alignment in one, we energetically become its opposite. 

This dynamic shows up most clearly in relationships where this particular polarity (or any polarity for that matter) creates the tension of willpower, whether overt or covert.  Two scenarios I’ve recently encountered in my public readings highlight this dynamic in a fascinating way.

A younger woman came to me with a sense of urgency recently. We’ll call her M. I had met M once before our reading several months prior during a community workshop I hosted where amongst the dozen or so students she placed herself the most distant, stayed the most quiet, and left the earliest but she had gotten my contact info before departing. Out of the blue on a Saturday night around midnight I got a text asking when was the soonest I could meet up for a consultation for “something important." 

To be honest, I didn’t recognize the number and wasn’t sure who I’d be meeting up with but I was somewhat curious who would be contacting me with such an urgency late on the weekend so I agreed to a coffee date. When M walked in, I was somewhat surprised it was someone familiar. We got to talking before getting into the details of what was bugging her and even only observing body language it was immediate to see someone got hurt this weekend, her heart was completely covered. Like with many people who come to me, there’s an immediate relationship or love dynamic that needs exploration and M wasn’t an exception. 

Without getting into the graphic detail that M was not shy to share, she had a habit that many people may be able to relate to; falling for the emotionally unavailable. This is not uncommon at all. But what was uncommon in M’s case was the frequency by which it occurs and the intensifying dismissal of her sense of self she experienced from each subsequent relationship leading to her noticing the pattern.

How this relates to the dynamic we discussed in the beginning of this article shows itself in the dynamic she holds with herself, where action is reserved for preservation of survival and that survival is rooted in dependency on the unavailable or in other words, certainty. To break that down in simpler terms; mom and dad were the gatekeepers of survival through finance or structural reliability while being intensely emotionally dismissive or repressive. This simple dynamic can create a lifelong loop of trauma; seeking certainty from people who cannot provide it. In the form of romantic relationships or affairs we call this “limerence” when the activation of magnetic attraction is sparked from the activation of a familiar trauma loop. It can be activated from a sense of certainty not found within the self found in another or from the familiar desire to get an emotionally unavailable individual to provide that certainty. The trauma itself can range from emotional or verbal abuse when noncompliant to more commonly passive dismissal of anything that was deemed “too much” or “too intense” or simply “illogical” or “impractical” that the individual deeply attached themselves to. This can be a newfound interest, creative outlet, or spontaneous self expression that is dismissed or shunned and the learned behavior becomes, “If I don’t suppress my desires, I’ll risk losing my sense of safety.” It should be no surprise that M happened to be a Libra Sun. 

This same energy can manifest any time we suppress our voice or our expression for the sake of others, whether it be because we feel we’ll cause too much of a ruckus, disrupt the peace, or worse that our will may harm someone else. It doesn’t necessarily have to come from abuse or trauma but learned behavior patterns. So we recess into ourselves more, let others walk over us, fail to uphold our boundaries and sense of sovereignty for the sake of peace or appeasement of another’s will. Our own then gets a lessened priority in our own experience. We are not here to experience the divinity of the world in this way but it’s a lesson many of us need to go through to learn our will and aggression is not to be feared. This brings us to the next scenario.

The second scenario was with an individual who I knew quite well through our professional circles and eventually through our repeated sessions. We’ll call him C. C’s sessions usually focused on work and his career path but one day he wanted to take a break from financial planning and wanted to speak more personally. He wanted to discuss an odd recurring dream he had that shocked him when it manifested into reality. C spoke of a dream wherein he was chased by a shadowy dark, hulking figure that slowly consumed him whole once he surrendered to it. We worked on meditations and mantras meant to observe whatever this energy was within him that needed confrontation, which he soon received. 

Within the next month, C went to a concert, a kinda funny one at that. To keep his identity private, I’ll just say it was an 80s hair metal band on a reunion tour coinciding with the anniversary of a “so bad it’s good” horror film they provided the soundtrack to. At the concert he said he got a bad vibe from the crowd, hostile energy, and he felt like he was on hyper defense. He assured me he only had a beer at the show and he was completely lucid. Somewhere in the evening, one individual in the crowd caught C’s attention. He described him as a large military guy, no shirt, roided out muscles, and camo fatigues. C claimed he witnessed this large man’s face morph into that of the shadowy figure from his dreams and he felt an overwhelming urge to attack him. In his mind’s eye he said he watched himself stab this figure over and over again in a rage, matching M’s graphic sexual tmi with his own graphic descriptions of decapitation and gore. He assured me he wasn’t on drugs or influence of any substance. No judgement here, my man! 

But to me, hearing this was proved a profound success had manifested from C’s meditations. Whether symbolic or psychological, the experience was real enough to demand confrontation. The purpose of our meditations is not to activate a cheat code that prevents us from feeling the bad, but instead to bring these bad feelings to the forefront of our focus so we can incorporate them. In C’s case, we can see a manifestation of the will and rage he does not accept as his own or has learned to suppress in order to ensure survival and the survival of his tribe. The trauma loop here is seeing will and assertion as deeply painful or even deadly to their loved ones or the ones around them. Possibly a father figure or an authority that threatened safety. Thus anything that could be construed as oppressive or abusive within their own assertion of their will becomes suppressed and labeled as something to be obliterated for the greater good. It should go as little surprise that C’s sun sign is Aries. 

This pattern seeped primarily into C’s career, following orders, rules, or boundaries set by others in positions of authority and being a quite literal peacekeeper to a larger corporation while allowing his own boundaries to become malleable or completely dissolve for the sake of his job security. The overlap between these two scenarios show two individuals who are plagued by persistent passivity until a loop of trauma activates. M’s pattern of passivity was broken by people so emotionally unavailable that her certainty and action activated only by putting her own will under another in an effort of covert control. C’s passivity was broken only when the aggression and drive he won’t allow himself to feel became manifest in an immediately endangering scenario, whether imagined or not, that he knew he must defend against to the death. There’s nothing more Aries than that!

What both of these examples reveal is this: we are shaped by what we suppress. Deeply. If it’s certainty, it may manifest as persistent liminal space in our work or romantic relationships where the power is one sided and our passivity becomes covert control, sometimes through the demeaning and devaluing of our own self. If it’s anger, it may externalize in the inappropriate assertion of our will or possibly even acting out those intrusive thoughts and becoming them if they’re repressed or rejected entirely. The point we see here and what ultimately became a focus of the sessions moving forward with both C and M is facing that demon of uncertainty or that demon of aggression and asking what this shadow is attempting to preserve by taking us over. What is this shadow trying to protect?

Whether it’s control or certainty, the polarity of Aries and Libra is showing us the balance between action and harmony, of personal will and assertion. For many this can be where our people pleasing tendencies are so overreaching that we become passive observers in our own existence. We know who we are in contrast to the spontaneous, often dangerous action that knows what it must do or what it must be in order to initiate its desires. This inner dynamic can create relationship patterns where the other is action oriented, possibly even picking up and dropping new identities, passions, and pursuits while the more passive is unconsciously expected to maintain a central and unshakeable identity as the “peacekeeper,” which becomes the reliable foundation for spontaneity. What the passive must learn from this dynamic is the ability to act on their own will, which left to their own devices they may not even be able to identify. But the active must learn to pause and reflect on their own actions lest they be tormented by restlessness and regret when left to ruminate on their spontaneous action and the consequences thereof. 

For my Aries readers, this is about learning to breathe. When the fire quiets, what remains? For my Librans, this is about taking the step you've been avoiding. If the only person you had to worry about for a moment was you, where would you want to direct your precious energy? For both, certainty doesn't come from placing yourself above or below another's will. It comes from standing fully in your own. When Aries dims or Libra chases, it signals misalignment and unbalanced power dynamics. Personal power doesn’t come from submission. It comes from allowing your authentic self to fully exist. Sometimes the biggest challenge for both signs is even knowing who that authentic self really is. That's what our inner work is for.